Don't worry - I'm not trying to sell anything to you ....

I think I may have blogged on the following topic before but I was incensed so here I go again on another rant - sorry !

Knock on the door this afternoon, very loud and obnoxious so I suspected a sales call.

As a professional salesperson and marketeer I am usually fairly sensitive to fellow journeymen professionals doing a sales job, however annoying door to door selling is, it is a thankless task and I try to be as nice as I can when turning them away - as a general principle I just do not buy at the doorstep. Life is literally too short.

However, one thing about the practice really, really pisses me off and it is the following phrase :

"Don't worry, I am not going to sell you anything"

Which was of course the first thing the sales person said to me.

The two things about this phrase that piss me off are : it's my house, I'm inside in the warm and you're outside doing a minimum wage sales job (please note my earlier comments in mitigation) - I am not nor would I ever be 'worried' in that situation. Plus, I'm a 34 + year marital arts practitioner with two (count them) black belts in different styles, I work for myself with no salary as a safety net and I have two children under 16 -  there is quite literally very little on this planet that worries me. But the door to door sales person still has the nerve to re-assure me - how very, unrelentingly, patronising.

Secondly. The statement contains a lie. Not a fib, not a sales related misdirection (naughty but [barely] acceptable) but rather an out and out lie. The sales person is clearly going to sell to me - why not tell me. I'm a big boy and can fence witty retorts with the best of them. I'm an atheist who enjoys nothing more than a doorstep debate with the Jehova's or Mormons as much (if not more so) than then next man - I love sales and sometimes don't mind seeing the cut of a fellow professionals jib, notwithstanding my rule in buying at the doorstep. Consider me then an objection machine, a way of honing your sales skills.

But please do not lie or patronise. It is insulting and leads to negative blog posts, every time.

The final sin this loft insulation sales person (for so he was) made was to react defensively to my comment that he was definitely selling to me so please don't lie about it - he decided that the customer was not right and in fact inferred I was lying to him about not having time to speak to him in more depth about his attitude and moronic sales spiel - insulation is after all for my benefit not his (so he is visiting my doorstep for the good of his health is he ?)

So a sales tip for this gentleman. The customer is always right, even when he's not and be honest, particularly about renumeration - don't try and kid a kidder that your presence to sell insulation to me is solely for the benefit of the customer.

Rant over. Happy Selling - but try and get it right.
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